Actually I like this new word, in fact it’s a word that has no meaning or bearing to anything that I may want to write. But it sounds nice on the tongue.
I woke up this morning and thought MEH.
So I have decided to share the feeling with everyone.
To this aim I present you with the following article:
Was it good? I think so! It will represent everything that you could ever want.
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
Wednesday 22 September 2010
Monday 20 September 2010
I’m On a Diet
Yes, well not me really but most people, sorry girls, you meet are on a diet of some description. Ladies, do you really need to be on a diet? Or is it just some topic of conversation?
So I was hovering in the local Starbucks waiting for a friend to turn up last Friday and I was hit by the following revelation:
How can you claim to be on a diet when you drink this?
What were they drinking, you ask? Well it was a triple shot Frappuccino with hazelnut syrup and whipped cream on top; to which they added about 4 table spoons of sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, chocolate and vanilla powder.
Dude, that drink contains more calories that all my 3 meals put together. Seriously, you starve yourselves all week to drink this every day and wonder why your diet is not working?
Stop drinking this and maybe you will discover there is no need to be on a diet and you will be a happier person.
If you want coffee fine, I think it is a good things, but coffee should be had with maybe a little milk and that’s about it. But no Starbucks has found a commercial niche, serving gunk and passing it off as coffee. No one in a sane frame of mind will add vanilla, nutmeg or cinnamon to coffee, let alone flavoured sugar syrup.
If you dear reader belong to that group of people, think twice before ordering it again, think about how much sugar you are putting into your body. A glass of Coke will be healthier.
Save the obese by boycotting Starbucks.
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
So I was hovering in the local Starbucks waiting for a friend to turn up last Friday and I was hit by the following revelation:
How can you claim to be on a diet when you drink this?
What were they drinking, you ask? Well it was a triple shot Frappuccino with hazelnut syrup and whipped cream on top; to which they added about 4 table spoons of sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, chocolate and vanilla powder.
Dude, that drink contains more calories that all my 3 meals put together. Seriously, you starve yourselves all week to drink this every day and wonder why your diet is not working?
Stop drinking this and maybe you will discover there is no need to be on a diet and you will be a happier person.
If you want coffee fine, I think it is a good things, but coffee should be had with maybe a little milk and that’s about it. But no Starbucks has found a commercial niche, serving gunk and passing it off as coffee. No one in a sane frame of mind will add vanilla, nutmeg or cinnamon to coffee, let alone flavoured sugar syrup.
If you dear reader belong to that group of people, think twice before ordering it again, think about how much sugar you are putting into your body. A glass of Coke will be healthier.
Save the obese by boycotting Starbucks.
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
Let’s Be Serious
Ok I have done my community service and now we can get to the more important topic of the day. Our innate desire to be atheists!
After the pope decided to visit up last week, we have been having huge uproars concerning this ‘state’ visit.
Yes it was a state visit; the pope is leader of a small country called the Vatican. Yes he will preach Catholism to everyone, regardless of the reason behind the visit; after all it is his job. His views and beliefs are his own and the fact that he tries to share them is a good thing. It boils down to freedom of speech, he is allowed according to law to say what he likes. Just because he does not share your beliefs does not give you a reason to try to rip him to shreds.
I am not a catholic, I certainly do not like them but that does not mean I don’t want him to visit. How can anyone know what it is like without being exposed to other things? What happened to tolerance?
This is ironic, any other country in the world we would not have this kind of hatred. It would appear that the UK has become a state where if we are not like the loudest voiced people we are wrong and evil and are not welcome. This by proxy would make 50% of our population not welcome in their own country.
So I now belong to the minority that advocates tolerance and peace. Maybe I should also leave and let our current mentality destroy the country before coming back once everyone has got it out of their system.
Let us bring back the past and reinstate tolerance.
Signing off
Lemon Tree Man
After the pope decided to visit up last week, we have been having huge uproars concerning this ‘state’ visit.
Yes it was a state visit; the pope is leader of a small country called the Vatican. Yes he will preach Catholism to everyone, regardless of the reason behind the visit; after all it is his job. His views and beliefs are his own and the fact that he tries to share them is a good thing. It boils down to freedom of speech, he is allowed according to law to say what he likes. Just because he does not share your beliefs does not give you a reason to try to rip him to shreds.
I am not a catholic, I certainly do not like them but that does not mean I don’t want him to visit. How can anyone know what it is like without being exposed to other things? What happened to tolerance?
This is ironic, any other country in the world we would not have this kind of hatred. It would appear that the UK has become a state where if we are not like the loudest voiced people we are wrong and evil and are not welcome. This by proxy would make 50% of our population not welcome in their own country.
So I now belong to the minority that advocates tolerance and peace. Maybe I should also leave and let our current mentality destroy the country before coming back once everyone has got it out of their system.
Let us bring back the past and reinstate tolerance.
Signing off
Lemon Tree Man
Keeping To The Subject
It appears that some people are unable to follow my thought train and my endless digressions. So I am going to attempt to appease them by writing one article that follows one theme and only one theme.
There it’s done.
Signing off
Lemon Tree Man
There it’s done.
Signing off
Lemon Tree Man
Friday 17 September 2010
Sleep Is It Really Resting?
Gentlemen and ladies, this morning despite being a nice Friday is already very hard. I have sleep but not enough and I certainly don’t feel rested. Ok mostly it’s my fault that I have not gone to bed at a reasonable hour but then again if one is not tired one should not try to lie and bed to toss and turn.
It would seem that I have discovered that no matter how long or much you sleep, this is not indicative of how much rest you have. To be quite frank less sleep and more rest is what I am after. There days I need my rest, I want to be able to wake up in the morning and not feel so tired. It would be nice not to have huge bags under my eyes. Not being the vainest person in the whole world it does not mean I don’t try to look respectable. In fact this lack of rest is having a detrimental effect as I am too tired to shave at the moment.
Yes I said shave! I just can’t trust myself even with a safety razor. I fear that this is going to be a problem, much longer and I will end up with the worst whispy beard in the whole wide world. You may think that I may need to use an electric razor, but let me ask are electric razors green? I doubt it, besides if I used it, all it will do is tear my skin to shreds, I guess it would be better if I was hairy like a monkey but this is not possible so I must run around looking like a cheap hobo chav facially but like a typical class C geek everywhere else. This paints such a picture that I want to go home and hide in a cupboard.
Speaking of green, the newspaper had a lovely report condemning one of our supermarkets for making too much packaging for a roast beef? Really people we are not living in a communist state you know. There is nothing wrong with some packaging. In fact believe it or not it is required for most things, walking around with meat in your hands not packaged would be classed as a health and safety hazard. So how do you win? You can’t! The latest craze is to replace packets with plastic bags, be it coffee or cereals. If you stop and think, you will be confused; since when is plastic more recyclable than glass or cardboard? I am serious; since when? When was plastic that is not going to be recyclable, as it would otherwise perish before you could use the product, greener than cardboard and glass both of which are recyclable and reusable? You cannot reuse the plastic coffee packet, but I can use the glass jar for a hundred million things, even using it as a wall climbing deterrent, which incidentally people is illegal in this country.
Any how I am digressing again, I must stop this irritating habit born from a lack of concentration due to lack of rest. Does anyone know if taking sleeping tablet will increase rest or will it just make me sleep longer? Does anyone have any ideas as to what I should do? This is a cry for help and we would love to hear from you.
So please help me find a way to get more rest so I can get more inspiration to help entertain you.
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
It would seem that I have discovered that no matter how long or much you sleep, this is not indicative of how much rest you have. To be quite frank less sleep and more rest is what I am after. There days I need my rest, I want to be able to wake up in the morning and not feel so tired. It would be nice not to have huge bags under my eyes. Not being the vainest person in the whole world it does not mean I don’t try to look respectable. In fact this lack of rest is having a detrimental effect as I am too tired to shave at the moment.
Yes I said shave! I just can’t trust myself even with a safety razor. I fear that this is going to be a problem, much longer and I will end up with the worst whispy beard in the whole wide world. You may think that I may need to use an electric razor, but let me ask are electric razors green? I doubt it, besides if I used it, all it will do is tear my skin to shreds, I guess it would be better if I was hairy like a monkey but this is not possible so I must run around looking like a cheap hobo chav facially but like a typical class C geek everywhere else. This paints such a picture that I want to go home and hide in a cupboard.
Speaking of green, the newspaper had a lovely report condemning one of our supermarkets for making too much packaging for a roast beef? Really people we are not living in a communist state you know. There is nothing wrong with some packaging. In fact believe it or not it is required for most things, walking around with meat in your hands not packaged would be classed as a health and safety hazard. So how do you win? You can’t! The latest craze is to replace packets with plastic bags, be it coffee or cereals. If you stop and think, you will be confused; since when is plastic more recyclable than glass or cardboard? I am serious; since when? When was plastic that is not going to be recyclable, as it would otherwise perish before you could use the product, greener than cardboard and glass both of which are recyclable and reusable? You cannot reuse the plastic coffee packet, but I can use the glass jar for a hundred million things, even using it as a wall climbing deterrent, which incidentally people is illegal in this country.
Any how I am digressing again, I must stop this irritating habit born from a lack of concentration due to lack of rest. Does anyone know if taking sleeping tablet will increase rest or will it just make me sleep longer? Does anyone have any ideas as to what I should do? This is a cry for help and we would love to hear from you.
So please help me find a way to get more rest so I can get more inspiration to help entertain you.
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
Thursday 16 September 2010
Oodles Of Doodles For Poodles.
#@!$$ is the un-typable expression that came out of my mouth this morning as a greeting. Its unimportant to note that it was very early in the morning before I had indulged in many coffees.
So I was talking to a friend last night and we were discussing the virtues of doing something productive, in our world this involves more of the doing anything other than watching the box and/or playing pc games. Life is really too short to waste doing anything else. How else am I supposed to be getting better than all those cheating foul mouthed 12 year olds? I am jesting in case you did not realize *shakes head*.
Anyhow I am doing that mind wandering again. Well in virtue of being productive my friend decided to have a play and update his site, so please go and have a look: http://oohsometimes.com
It makes me intrigued, what would push a person to change things; we are inherently afraid of change as human beings, that is why we end up stuck in ruts and complaining about how bad our lives are.
Do you complain about your life? What would you like to change?
So here is a challenge the person who can tell what they want to change and it appeals to me will get another box of chocolates.
Please note that stopping an addiction will not be classed as an acceptable answer.
Signing off
Lemon Tree Man
So I was talking to a friend last night and we were discussing the virtues of doing something productive, in our world this involves more of the doing anything other than watching the box and/or playing pc games. Life is really too short to waste doing anything else. How else am I supposed to be getting better than all those cheating foul mouthed 12 year olds? I am jesting in case you did not realize *shakes head*.
Anyhow I am doing that mind wandering again. Well in virtue of being productive my friend decided to have a play and update his site, so please go and have a look: http://oohsometimes.com
It makes me intrigued, what would push a person to change things; we are inherently afraid of change as human beings, that is why we end up stuck in ruts and complaining about how bad our lives are.
Do you complain about your life? What would you like to change?
So here is a challenge the person who can tell what they want to change and it appeals to me will get another box of chocolates.
Please note that stopping an addiction will not be classed as an acceptable answer.
Signing off
Lemon Tree Man
Monday 13 September 2010
Is It Really Time?
After having spent the weekend helping out everyone I could get my hands on and then using what little time was left to do house related stuff I find myself stuck on a Sunday night asking myself what I did for myself. You know in that utterly selfish way where the little voices in our heads tell us to be selfish and that we are number 1 and only the I matters.
Having many I’s in my head, I find it quite hard to do the selfish thing, as one may imagines the Is do not agree with each other ever.
But this is why we have a conscience, a part of one who is capable of making us have feelings, such as joy and more often than not guilt. Guilt is an interesting feeling, it’s not good or bad, you can feel guilt about doing the right thing, you can feel guilt for being a cock; it’s an emotional response that turns anything into a negative feeling.
Why do all humans want a conscience then? Why do we want to have this negative feeling? It makes you feel rotten and depressed and tired and all you get is sad apathy. Just like every other Monday morning when you fight the hordes of children on their way to school, stand in a sardine can for an hour, wait 10 minutes for your lift, walk into the office with a plastic smile and get told of for being late despite being on time, to sit down on your ‘ergonomic ‘ chair which leaves you looking like a crippled hunchback at the end of the day and try to tan while looking at your PC screen.
Don’t get me wrong I like my office; it’s vibrant and coloured with a whole pile of morons that provide entertainment. Not entertainment that I would share with you dear readers but entertainment none the less.
Still another 5 days of tedium for a 2 days of doing everything for everyone else and ensuring that my roof does not collapse on my head due to neglect. Where is the good deal in that; my dear readers I am sure you all have exciting lives with great adventures. But I; no, it’s not allowed, even if temped to pack a bag and bugger off to some exotic place, Morecambe as an example, my conscience would make me feel so guilty that I would shrivel up and throw myself into the sea in order to become lobster bait.
So all in all as a summary to the weekend, the only silver lining is I managed to have one pleasant evening ensuring a friends lack of sobriety and as a consequence ensuring that I drink myself into becoming blind to everything and washing that stupid conscience away for a few hours.
So dear reader, if you have a conscience, please get rid of it, it will only hold you back and make you miserable.
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
Having many I’s in my head, I find it quite hard to do the selfish thing, as one may imagines the Is do not agree with each other ever.
But this is why we have a conscience, a part of one who is capable of making us have feelings, such as joy and more often than not guilt. Guilt is an interesting feeling, it’s not good or bad, you can feel guilt about doing the right thing, you can feel guilt for being a cock; it’s an emotional response that turns anything into a negative feeling.
Why do all humans want a conscience then? Why do we want to have this negative feeling? It makes you feel rotten and depressed and tired and all you get is sad apathy. Just like every other Monday morning when you fight the hordes of children on their way to school, stand in a sardine can for an hour, wait 10 minutes for your lift, walk into the office with a plastic smile and get told of for being late despite being on time, to sit down on your ‘ergonomic ‘ chair which leaves you looking like a crippled hunchback at the end of the day and try to tan while looking at your PC screen.
Don’t get me wrong I like my office; it’s vibrant and coloured with a whole pile of morons that provide entertainment. Not entertainment that I would share with you dear readers but entertainment none the less.
Still another 5 days of tedium for a 2 days of doing everything for everyone else and ensuring that my roof does not collapse on my head due to neglect. Where is the good deal in that; my dear readers I am sure you all have exciting lives with great adventures. But I; no, it’s not allowed, even if temped to pack a bag and bugger off to some exotic place, Morecambe as an example, my conscience would make me feel so guilty that I would shrivel up and throw myself into the sea in order to become lobster bait.
So all in all as a summary to the weekend, the only silver lining is I managed to have one pleasant evening ensuring a friends lack of sobriety and as a consequence ensuring that I drink myself into becoming blind to everything and washing that stupid conscience away for a few hours.
So dear reader, if you have a conscience, please get rid of it, it will only hold you back and make you miserable.
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
Thursday 9 September 2010
Oh Dear!
Having decided that I could not be bothered with hunting some inspiration I decided to employ the services of a ghost writer who would ensure that my most excellent writing continues uninterrupted.
Please note that this ghost writer does exist and I did not pretend, I would never dream of pretending as it would reduce the quality of my articles.
Having read the article, I cringed and cried and stamped my feet. I decided must edit this article, and then decided to not bother. What else could life bring if I had to edit something someone took the time to help me out with?
See people I can be nice. Although the article is a little schizophrenic it is a fair representation of the point. In fact it’s probably very similar to what I write, but normally being the author I would not notice the issues.
So BG many thanks for being brave enough and +3 rep for the quality of your thoughts.
So without ado here is ‘my’ latest article:
A brand new day...a brand new resolution! Yes, no theatrics, no drama...I have decided on a resolution - not on New Year's eve but right smack in the midst of September. Despite my liking routine, I sometimes also do spontaneous (i so do try) so dear readers, Lemon Tree Man's spontaneous resolution today is to overcome his dislike for flying long distances (read: long distance to LTM equates to anything more than 3 hours)
So let's see..where shall I fly to? *thinking, thinking...* The Far East! Yes! A total opposite continent and travel time takes more than 9 hours. Perfect! :).. This will give me the chance to let it all out - start and finish a thick book (in hardcover no less), fiddle with
the in-flight entertainment, utilise the free flow of booze, maybe even make use of the puke bag, rant and rave at the crew (but if there are pretty stewardesses, I shall be try to be mindful of my behaviour and that may score me brownie points! ;) After all, it pays to be on one's best behaviour, so they say)
Some of the things that I've decided to do when in the Far East:
1. Visit my Far East friends - duh!
2. Keep my promise to bring some chocolates and to claim my sweets (total number of sweets to be determined at a later stage)
3. Teach and prove to a lock challenged friend on how to unlock a pedestal with a paper clip
4. Head on to the integrated resorts
5. Check out some recommended watering holes (hic)
6. Ad hoc silly things that one might not normally do when one's back home
I believe I'm not the only one who dislike flying so do feel free to join me in my quest and perhaps we might make good flight mates OR we might end up tearing out each other's hair (ouch) by the time we touch down. Either way, it will be an adventure but I can most certainly put a tick to my spontaneous resolution :)
Signing off
Ghost Writer For Lemon Tree Man
So people, if anyone feels they can best this then prove it and send me an article.
Signing off
Lemon Tree Man
Please note that this ghost writer does exist and I did not pretend, I would never dream of pretending as it would reduce the quality of my articles.
Having read the article, I cringed and cried and stamped my feet. I decided must edit this article, and then decided to not bother. What else could life bring if I had to edit something someone took the time to help me out with?
See people I can be nice. Although the article is a little schizophrenic it is a fair representation of the point. In fact it’s probably very similar to what I write, but normally being the author I would not notice the issues.
So BG many thanks for being brave enough and +3 rep for the quality of your thoughts.
So without ado here is ‘my’ latest article:
A brand new day...a brand new resolution! Yes, no theatrics, no drama...I have decided on a resolution - not on New Year's eve but right smack in the midst of September. Despite my liking routine, I sometimes also do spontaneous (i so do try) so dear readers, Lemon Tree Man's spontaneous resolution today is to overcome his dislike for flying long distances (read: long distance to LTM equates to anything more than 3 hours)
So let's see..where shall I fly to? *thinking, thinking...* The Far East! Yes! A total opposite continent and travel time takes more than 9 hours. Perfect! :).. This will give me the chance to let it all out - start and finish a thick book (in hardcover no less), fiddle with
the in-flight entertainment, utilise the free flow of booze, maybe even make use of the puke bag, rant and rave at the crew (but if there are pretty stewardesses, I shall be try to be mindful of my behaviour and that may score me brownie points! ;) After all, it pays to be on one's best behaviour, so they say)
Some of the things that I've decided to do when in the Far East:
1. Visit my Far East friends - duh!
2. Keep my promise to bring some chocolates and to claim my sweets (total number of sweets to be determined at a later stage)
3. Teach and prove to a lock challenged friend on how to unlock a pedestal with a paper clip
4. Head on to the integrated resorts
5. Check out some recommended watering holes (hic)
6. Ad hoc silly things that one might not normally do when one's back home
I believe I'm not the only one who dislike flying so do feel free to join me in my quest and perhaps we might make good flight mates OR we might end up tearing out each other's hair (ouch) by the time we touch down. Either way, it will be an adventure but I can most certainly put a tick to my spontaneous resolution :)
Signing off
Ghost Writer For Lemon Tree Man
So people, if anyone feels they can best this then prove it and send me an article.
Signing off
Lemon Tree Man
Sunday 5 September 2010
*Arms Pointing At The Sky* I Give In You Win.
Yes even I will concede defeat, graciously to, without excess use of rude words. I was doing this thing called DIY this morning and for some reason felt inspired to fix something that had been irritating me for a while now. The patio foot board needed a new few coats of stain, so I dragged myself from my bed, donned some old clothes, found a paintbrush, a screwdriver and some wood stain. Ready! I thought; did the business and wondered why it would required 5 hours to be touch dry. Lo and behold, what happens, the lord of the rain decided that I should not be doing this so it pissed on my parade. I now am required to live with open doors in the rain praying it does not wash the stain onto my flagstones and thereby requiring more DIY to fix.
Rant over. :-)
Actually the subject I was thinking off was Internet Dating, prior to my daily disaster, other than what to eat for lunch.
It would seem as if the massed believe that Internet Dating is the easy way to meet a potential long term mate. You are dazzled with an array of choices, all of which cost more than the last. There is the original dating site, and there are the conman sites.
Seriously people It would be cheaper to buy a Russian bride than signing up to the half or dozen dating sites available.
So signing up for the service, for research purposes only of course. I decide to have a look see what happens. It just looks like a catalogue for distance selling, to think we moan about human trafficking but we do it gladly, by selling ourselves on the Interwebs.
So ladies, please help my research by messaging me, I don't bite and I wash everyday.
Signing off
Lemon Tree Man
Rant over. :-)
Actually the subject I was thinking off was Internet Dating, prior to my daily disaster, other than what to eat for lunch.
It would seem as if the massed believe that Internet Dating is the easy way to meet a potential long term mate. You are dazzled with an array of choices, all of which cost more than the last. There is the original dating site, and there are the conman sites.
Seriously people It would be cheaper to buy a Russian bride than signing up to the half or dozen dating sites available.
So signing up for the service, for research purposes only of course. I decide to have a look see what happens. It just looks like a catalogue for distance selling, to think we moan about human trafficking but we do it gladly, by selling ourselves on the Interwebs.
So ladies, please help my research by messaging me, I don't bite and I wash everyday.
Signing off
Lemon Tree Man
Friday 3 September 2010
The Continental Art Of Dining
After the ring fist punching article I decided to pay a little more attention to the cultural happenings of my world.
So we now can broach the topic of dining. Yes eating, we all do it and most of us enjoy it, asides of the fact this is important for our species survival.
While people watching we analysed who ate with whom. The observation is that women go out most of the time with one friend or a male friend. Men only go out for dinner outside of work related events in groups of four plus. Hello man, since when could we just not go out for dinner with a friend? I don’t want to go out in a group, that’s just a waste of time.
Needless to say when in the continent two men at a dinner table is normal. Friends eat together, we don’t just go to the beverage houses to get drunk. There are so many things to talk about in life. Why waste life talking shit drunk when you can do it sober?
Another digression in coffee shops the percentage of people reading is virtually zero these days, its all about ipad, ipod, laptops… why go there with a friend to sit looking at your respective iPhone texting each other? If you look up you could talk to each other in real life….
But anyways, why does everyone look miserable? Answer my question and I will buy you a whole box of chocolates.
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
So we now can broach the topic of dining. Yes eating, we all do it and most of us enjoy it, asides of the fact this is important for our species survival.
While people watching we analysed who ate with whom. The observation is that women go out most of the time with one friend or a male friend. Men only go out for dinner outside of work related events in groups of four plus. Hello man, since when could we just not go out for dinner with a friend? I don’t want to go out in a group, that’s just a waste of time.
Needless to say when in the continent two men at a dinner table is normal. Friends eat together, we don’t just go to the beverage houses to get drunk. There are so many things to talk about in life. Why waste life talking shit drunk when you can do it sober?
Another digression in coffee shops the percentage of people reading is virtually zero these days, its all about ipad, ipod, laptops… why go there with a friend to sit looking at your respective iPhone texting each other? If you look up you could talk to each other in real life….
But anyways, why does everyone look miserable? Answer my question and I will buy you a whole box of chocolates.
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
Wednesday 1 September 2010
To Caper Along The Rooftops.
So dear reader if you were to be a superhero, whom would you be?
I know of 2 Batgirls, a Hulk Smash and a Super Dumpling Man.
I’ll grant you one the above is not a conventional hero, but he is a hero nonetheless. What defines the superhero? Can anyone tell me? Is it the costume? The name?
But more importantly, actually this is the most important question in the world: CAPE OR NO CAPE.
This I fear is not a clear cut answer. Batman has a cape and that makes him cool but Iron Man does not and he is cool too. Superman has a cape and he is a fag. The Phantom does not and he is a fag too.
In fact I have decided that to be an efficient superhero it’s not about the costume or the cape but the mighty weapon they must wield. Thor’s hammer is cool, Batman’s utility belt is awesome, Hulk’s fist is Uber awesome and well Ironman’s suit is the dog’s bollocks. So imagine a super hero with Ironman’s suit, Batman’s utility belt and Thor’s hammer and as strong as Hulk. He would look a little bit weird in a lovable Frankesteinish way. Maybe I should invest in becoming an evil genius so we could have such awesome superheros.
Again I digress, unless you are Batman wearing a cape makes you a Fag. Look at Robin, he not only dresses like a canary but he has a cape and let’s face it is very very queer.
To answer my first question if I was to be a superhero, I would have to be Batman. I get a col utility belt, a butler, a mansion and an underground lair oh and I get to play with cat woman!
Be generous and support the queer superhero rehabilitation programme.
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
I know of 2 Batgirls, a Hulk Smash and a Super Dumpling Man.
I’ll grant you one the above is not a conventional hero, but he is a hero nonetheless. What defines the superhero? Can anyone tell me? Is it the costume? The name?
But more importantly, actually this is the most important question in the world: CAPE OR NO CAPE.
This I fear is not a clear cut answer. Batman has a cape and that makes him cool but Iron Man does not and he is cool too. Superman has a cape and he is a fag. The Phantom does not and he is a fag too.
In fact I have decided that to be an efficient superhero it’s not about the costume or the cape but the mighty weapon they must wield. Thor’s hammer is cool, Batman’s utility belt is awesome, Hulk’s fist is Uber awesome and well Ironman’s suit is the dog’s bollocks. So imagine a super hero with Ironman’s suit, Batman’s utility belt and Thor’s hammer and as strong as Hulk. He would look a little bit weird in a lovable Frankesteinish way. Maybe I should invest in becoming an evil genius so we could have such awesome superheros.
Again I digress, unless you are Batman wearing a cape makes you a Fag. Look at Robin, he not only dresses like a canary but he has a cape and let’s face it is very very queer.
To answer my first question if I was to be a superhero, I would have to be Batman. I get a col utility belt, a butler, a mansion and an underground lair oh and I get to play with cat woman!
Be generous and support the queer superhero rehabilitation programme.
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
The Power Of The Fist
Ok before I start on today’s topic, I have to ask what is wrong with people today? I am not a stepping stone, stop walking all over my heels, shoes are expensive, I don’t stand on yours so don’t stand on mine. If I am in front of you slow down and keep pace with everyone else or just walk somewhere else.
Anyhow I digress.
Walking the streets, people watching I have noticed a trend with the mid-twenties to mid –thirties married women; especially with the young professionals. Has anyone else noticed as they walk down the street that they are conveniently holding their handbags in their left arm and are making a fist. At the end of this fist there is their engagement ring and wedding ring and it gets bigger and bigger and shinier and shinier. As if that would protect them from men!
Girls, not everyone is a pervert and not everyone is interested in you. There is no need to punch my eyes out with glare from the diamonds. If you hated men so much and needed so much protection why did you get married?
All other women outside of this age bracket behave normally. Does this mean they are all comfortable with men and their life choices? To be fair they do tend to be mothers but that should not have any impact.
Stop thinking that big rings show how much you are loved and that it will protect you from everything. If I was a thief I would say carry on because then I can pick and choose my victims so I could steal only the best.
On the other hand please rest assured, your behaviour would totally put me off you and not because you are married but because your behaviour disgusts me. Stop pretending to be corporate ‘nouveaux riche’. You are nothing but common scum, pond scum! Being better off than other people comes with certain behavioural rules. If you are rich don’t flaunt it, be discreet, it’s more elegant and more attractive.
This new fashion is almost like the 1980’s Porsche syndrome, they are compensating for everything that is lacking in their lives. A loving husband, a happy home life, a fulfilling career, etc..
Be rich and be elegant, that is more beautiful than rich and vulgar!
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
Anyhow I digress.
Walking the streets, people watching I have noticed a trend with the mid-twenties to mid –thirties married women; especially with the young professionals. Has anyone else noticed as they walk down the street that they are conveniently holding their handbags in their left arm and are making a fist. At the end of this fist there is their engagement ring and wedding ring and it gets bigger and bigger and shinier and shinier. As if that would protect them from men!
Girls, not everyone is a pervert and not everyone is interested in you. There is no need to punch my eyes out with glare from the diamonds. If you hated men so much and needed so much protection why did you get married?
All other women outside of this age bracket behave normally. Does this mean they are all comfortable with men and their life choices? To be fair they do tend to be mothers but that should not have any impact.
Stop thinking that big rings show how much you are loved and that it will protect you from everything. If I was a thief I would say carry on because then I can pick and choose my victims so I could steal only the best.
On the other hand please rest assured, your behaviour would totally put me off you and not because you are married but because your behaviour disgusts me. Stop pretending to be corporate ‘nouveaux riche’. You are nothing but common scum, pond scum! Being better off than other people comes with certain behavioural rules. If you are rich don’t flaunt it, be discreet, it’s more elegant and more attractive.
This new fashion is almost like the 1980’s Porsche syndrome, they are compensating for everything that is lacking in their lives. A loving husband, a happy home life, a fulfilling career, etc..
Be rich and be elegant, that is more beautiful than rich and vulgar!
Signing Off
Lemon Tree Man
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