Today is Friday and as usual my brain has stopped functioning. In consequence the witty banter that has been following me all week has dried up like an old prune. To be honest even my poor typing utensil has decided that today it’s going to have a go slow day too.
So I have decided to do the news. We all avidly read the news soaking up propaganda and advertorials, so why not show the world as it is. I personally only read the horoscopes and the cartoon pages. If there was anything interesting then someone would tell me about it. Why waste my precious time when I can get others to do it for me.
So without further ado the news:
It’s Friday the 13th, barricade the doors and don’t put out your washing as it will rain poison frogs.
The MOD has lost 20 Laptops containing confidential data.
War is illegal but so much fun, we want more.
BP share prices have dropped 1000000% due to perceived environmental threats.
Leftists are going to take over the world.
Killing animals for food must be done humanely! Become a vegetarian but only if you kill plans humanely.
Bankers are still getting big bonuses, the latest government poll shows.
1000000 squirrels drowned by angry fox hunters, RSPCA win 100m compensation through the courts for animal cruelty.
Don’t go on package holidays or you will be stranded after the sell and run tactics of tour companies.
Don’t bother flying because Unite union have got bored with BA and are going after BAA.
Unite members can’t be educated; they only learnt the first two letters of the alphabet!
As you can see there is no news apart from bad news. Actually the only good news would be.
Britons are rubbish at sport and still cannot understand why!
Signing off
Lemon Tree Man
No comments:
Post a Comment