It’s the end of the world.

Yes you heard it we are nearing the end of the world. We are surrounded by Zombies, iPod zombies! Ok the expression has not been invented by me, but it is a fair assessment. They have even started appearing in the traditional safe haven of computer gaming. Team fortress 2 is full of them.




How do you spot one? Easy they are the ones with those white tentacles hanging from the ears. Yes you heard it first here, they are everywhere. The next time you are walking down the street, on a bus, in the tube* count them, I guarantee its one in three who is a Zombie. During rush hour the number increases to 50%, they even try to hide by painting their tentacles black.

How do you protect yourself from them? Simply do not fall into the trap of apple fandom and become a mindless follower of the CULT. I confess to liking the appley products and I even own one of the classics but thankfully I don’t belong to the zombie crowd.

Start the zombie watch, don’t stand too close to them as they will knock you out the way and you may slip under the wheels of some large metal moving machine. They won’t know you are there, even if you try to talk to them they are unable to respond as they only hear radio 4, they vote leftist as they believe we are all equal and should all be the same as them. They worship the Jobs two times a year when he makes himself public.

Save yourselves to save me.

If you are wondering what the point was well.... you have fallen into the zombie trap so don’t bother.

Signing off

Lemon Tree Man

*Tube this for our foreign cousins is the same thing as the subway or metro


Addendum



Yes a queue at the new cult shop for willing Zombie followers..... arghh... save me save you!