A Video Review

I decided to venture out this weekend, into the land of cinema. With the plethora of ‘blockbuster’ films available, we picked the film that started as close to our arrival time and fate delivered us to the warm comforting bosom of ‘The Expendables’.
So the Expendables, a film made by Sly Stallone for Sly Stallone, was an interesting experience. An acquaintance summed up the films with excellent accuracy using social media, and I quote:

BOOM BOOM STALLONE BOOM BOOM WRITTEN BY STALLONE BOOM BOOM BOOM

To date it’s the best review ever!

Yes it is the best film I have seen in a long time. I did not require one brain cell to watch it. So pleasant it was, did I just drool like a zombie. Don’t misunderstand me I like intellectual films too, but 90% if the time the reason I watch something on a screen is because I require a break from mental activity.

Spoilers below, so close your eyes and count to 1000 if you don’t want to ruin your experience.

The story starts with night vision, pirates and hostages. The story ends with a plane flying away. The middle bit is about helping someone who had values. Being a mercenary clearly precludes you from having a soul.

There are a few really good moments though; the Bruce Willis and Arnie cameo was one of the best parts of the film. Dolf Ludgren played a very good character, well in my opinion that is, maybe it’s because I always had a soft spot for those swedes. Jet Li had also an excellent funny moment. Statham well was the transporter with a really bad script.

Apart from this there are some pretty explosions and a monster BOOM STICK moment but there is nothing that would strike you as wow or memorable.

So do you need to go and watch this? Well yes because if you are ever going to waste ninety minutes of your life you won’t get a sense of scale with a small TV. If however you realize that watching this will kill all your brain cells in once instant go watch something else such as Toy Story 3 or Inception.

Signing off

Lemon Tree Man